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Humor

Last Bites

The wake held for Sven Müeller at Karloff’s Funeral Home in Queens, New York, was completely unremarkable until a tiny nephew of Sven’s was lifted to kiss his uncle good-bye, but instead bit off the dead man’s nose. Women shrieked and strong men fainted and, when the toddler continued to chew and swallow the nose, […]

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Pêlos

Lydia turned out the light, picked up her backpack, and opened her window. She was expecting the gust of cool night air, the smell of freedom, and the call of the dance floor. She was not expecting the shower of gold. “Ow!” She threw her pack up as a shield from the heavy, glittering hail. […]

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ZigZag Strikes Again

Very elliptical years, the 57th Century, or “Years of the Cat.” Practically nobody uses sentences. Anymore. Very eccentric. Tell story. Am Time Bum. Name of ZigZag, honorable family, agent, sex-linkages. Manipulator and explorer of paraHistory via the Leonardo. Journey to the Age of Styrofoam, the Coke Bottle Century, my favorite time, the 20th, when Giants […]

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The Numbers Game

“Fell Sorcerer, your evil reign is at an end!” Sathrus said. He flicked his long blonde hair to one side and raised the Sword of Khandalon above his head, rippling muscles ready to strike the fatal blow. “As sole heir to the ancient line of Khandar, I shall take my rightful place as King, and […]

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The Dragonslayer

Krin looked sheepishly at the dead bear. “Well,” Mika suggested, “I suppose we could always just, you know, say it was a dragon.” She was sitting on a rock a little way off, under the shade of a forest oak, checking the fletchings of her arrows. She’d put three shafts into the poor bear before […]

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CAPS LOCK and the Ellipsis of Doom

GREETINGS LOWER CASE BOY proud to be at your side captain lets check the grammarphone for messages TROUBLE DOWNTOWN ITS THAT NO GOOD DUO COLON AND SEMICOLON CAUSING MAYHEM AGAIN when will they learn its just not right to conjoin unrelated subjects QUICK TO THE LOGOMOBILE there they are captain and it looks like theyre […]

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