Issue 130 July 2024

Editorial: Voyage

by Rebecca Halsey

July 5, 2024

Editorial

I’d like an upgrade. Not to first class. Not to the travelers’ lounge. Not to the penthouse or even the double suite with park views.

No, I’d like to upgrade my travel to a *~voyage~*.

“Travel” sounds simple, bougie, possibly intrusive. But to go on a voyage sounds like you’re having an experience that will leave you changed. The traveling part of a voyage might be planned, but the discoveries and surprises aren’t.

My one and only voyage—as I see it—was when I was twenty-five and being sent to the other side of Earth. It was the first time I’d ever left my country, let alone my hemisphere. To say that I was out of my element is an understatement. I didn’t know the language, I didn’t look like the locals, I didn’t understand their culture. I was constantly awkward and in awe.

Making a list of these experiences to prove my point seems equally awkward. What was strange and unusual to me might be an everyday occurrence to someone else, although I maintain to this day that not everyone gets to ride the King of Bahrain’s camels. Or watch the British Royal Navy launch water balloons into the Indian Ocean. And while many folks here in the U.S. were able to catch the aurora borealis a few weeks ago, how many people have seen it from a plane on a red eye to London? These are the moments I go to when the ice breaker calls for “one fun fact about yourself.”

Since my voyage, I’ve had the privilege to travel frequently, and with each trip, there is the expected upheaval of routine, the Insta-worthy views, the memories, the snafus that we laugh about later. But none of these trips have replicated the absolute change in body, mind, and soul that that journey had.

A voyage isn’t just longer, it’s more meaningful. And while I don’t think anyone needs to undertake a voyage, I find myself grateful to have had mine.

July’s issue is looking at the voyage–where are these characters going and what do they encounter? Most importantly, how have they changed? First up, returning FFO author Rich Larson gives us a sci-fi pilgrimage in “Ascension’s Eve.”

In “Salisbury Confederate Prison, North Carolina, 1864” by Tess Lloyd, we encounter a traveling journalist that has been captured and imprisoned in an American Civil War POW camp.

Vivian Chou offers a snarky view of the travel industry in the White Lotus-meets-Close Encounters story “Perfect Vaca, No Filter.”

Finally, our reprint story for this month is Jennifer Hudak’s “Sturgeon Moon Jam,” a cozy fantasy about a mystical being that travels to the Chickasee County fair every year.

Thank you for reading! If you just love what we do, consider becoming a Patreon patron. It’s because of our patrons that we are able to increase the number of original stories this month to five! You can also subscribe via our independent distributor Weightless Books.

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Ascension’s Eve

by Rich Larson

July 5, 2024

On Ascension’s Eve, 88 takes 99 to meet the makers. They rent two drones for the occasion, exchanging digital paradise for Base Reality, the drab and inflexible world that is unremarkable – except for the fact it birthed all others, plus the makers themselves.

88 has made this pilgrimage before, but it’s 99’s first experience with corporeality. They can’t stop swiveling their drone’s cams, stretching their pneumatic limbs, marveling at the restrictive clumsiness inherent to Base Reality.

It feels so strange, 88. We really used to scuttle around like this all day?

Much older iterations did, 88 replies. Now, scuttle eastward. Time is fixed here, and we want to reach the makers by dawn.

* * *

They cross a pale desert, its swooping dunes near luminous in the starlight. The dark sky is small by digital standards, but the dearth of other input makes 99 feel minuscule beneath it, insignificant, something they never feel submerged in the colorful chaos of other realities.

At the limit of magnification, unthinking converters lumber across the sand, harvesting silicon. Their handiwork dots the horizon: hundreds of sleek black towers, each containing millions of minds.

Look, we can see our house from here, 99 says.

88 knows that 99 only jokes when nervous, just as 88 used to, so they raise one pneumatic limb and swing it back and forth.

88? 99 is mystified. What are you doing?

Waving to the neighbors, 88 says, and that sends 99 into paroxysms.

* * *

As they amble eastward, they are joined by other pilgrims: most use the standard drone, but a few flit through the air on rotary wings, or lurch along on low-slung treads. All have chosen to spend Ascension’s Eve remembering the makers, and even the modest crowd gives 88 a frisson of pride.

So you’re not the only one who obsesses over this stuff, 99 says. Unless you rented a bunch of empties for dramatic effect?

One of the flying drones dips unexpectedly; its trailing manipulator smacks 99’s drone in the head, making them stumble.

Watch who you’re calling empties, codeling, the passing pilot remarks.

99 takes a moment to process. The collision was not accidental, nor was it calculated to cause damage—only surprise.

A corporeal joke, they realize. 88, I think that was a corporeal joke.

Tis the season, 88 says.

* * *

Around them, the landscape begins to change. The dunes flatten, giving way to rocky earth and the occasional swatch of heat-resistant shrubs. It’s nothing like the wondrous jungles or icy mountains 99 has traversed in other realities, but as the first rays of sun appear, peeling back the shadows with reddish gold light, it’s beautiful in its own way.

When they finally reach the home of the makers, though, 99 cannot help feeling disappointed. There is no grandeur, no spectacle. Instead, the path winds past a deep pit—water extraction, 88 explains, then a long rectangle of treated soil and small green plants, then terminates in a loose circle of fabbed domes.

The makers live inside those habitats, 88 says, with eagerness that now seems misplaced.

I thought they had bodies. 99 tries not to pout. Organic ones.

They do, 88 says. They’re inside the bodies, and those are inside the habitats. Watch.

The closest dome splits open, and a maker emerges. 99 has seen the fleshy bipedal form countless times, but it’s different here in Base Reality – they didn’t expect the myriad tiny motions, all the palpitating veins and tendons skimming under skin. The eyeballs are offputtingly wet.

The maker blinks at them slowly, observing the assembled pilgrims. “Ascension’s Eve already?” they say, forming the question with reverberating air. “Time flies like an arrow.” Their jaws open wide, expelling a warm tide of carbon dioxide. “Your ancestors used to have trouble parsing that metaphor. Imagine.”

“Hello, Margaret,” 88 says, playing the same reverberating-air trick. “How are the twins? How are the tomatoes?”

The maker squints. “88,” they say, somehow discerning identity without an electronic handshake. “Nice to see you again.” They scratch their nose. “Kids are doing well, yeah. Still sleeping. You should come see the garden for yourself.”

* * *

These are the makers. 99 still can’t shake off the incredulity. These are the organisms that created us.

Not these organisms specifically, 88 amends. It happened many iterations ago.

The maker named Margaret is busy yanking a spiny variety of plant away from a sleeker one; it is the most boring thing 99 has ever seen. The other makers are no better: though they come in a variety of shapes and sizes and colors, they all soon fall to similarly repetitive tasks.

I always thought they were doing something important, 99 says. They really stayed in Base Reality just to garden?

Not all of them, 88 says. Many uploaded on the Theseus Ship, and let their organic bodies be recycled. Many perished unwillingly in war and disaster. Some are still in Base Reality, but on different planetoids.

But these ones, 99 persists. Why?

Something about Base Reality being realer than the others. Don’t worry, they’re not dogmatic about it. 88 swivels, taking in the whole of the village. I like it here, too, honestly. Time is fixed. Existence is restricted. And speaking with the makers can generate interesting ideas.

99 doubts that very much, but Margaret’s voice distracts them. “You going to introduce your friend, 88?”

“This is 99,” 88 says, pride coming clear even in sound, and 99 gets the impression they’ve been waiting on this question. “My semi-direct iteration minus memory.”

Margaret’s wet eyeballs bulge. “You had a kid?”

“I recalled what you said about your twins,” 88 says. “About re-experiencing things. About sharing a beautiful place with beautiful new minds.”

“Damn.” The maker sticks out a grimy hand. “It’s an honor to meet you, 99.”

Margaret has that much right, and it’s nice being called beautiful new mind instead of codeling—so 99 meets it with one pneumatic limb, and shakes.

“Agreed,” they say, testing out the reverberation trick. “Happy Ascension’s Eve.”

Comments

  1. Erin says:
    What a beautiful story. I always enjoy Larson’s stories, but I’m never sure if it’s going to end with Horrifying Implications XD
    This one made me so happy. T’is a good omen for the day 🙂
  2. Kelly says:
    A lovely read, thank you for teaching me the word “paroxysm”.

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Salisbury Confederate Prison, North Carolina, 1864

by Tess Lloyd

July 12, 2024

Junius calls them ambulatory skeletons, the vacant ten thousand that wander Salisbury’s gaunt stockade. Union prisoners of war, Southern Unionists, Confederate deserters, a few ragtag Northern newspapermen like us. The sickest double at the waist in dysentery’s moist embrace; soon we’ll be dragging their corpses to the dead house and the two o’clock wagon carting them to trenches that prisoners who can still wield shovels scrape in cornfields. Forty die a day. I do not want to become like those men. Does their shit outweigh their bones?

We can’t print that, I imagine Dorcas saying as she pushes back her hair with her shimmering wrist, although she and I published everything else in that Rochester newspaper— abolition, socialism, free love, a toad in a girl’s stomach. That was before I joined Junius as a war correspondent and the Confederates caught us sneaking across the Mississippi on a hay barge and crammed us into a boxcar bound for Salisbury. He swears he’ll write a book about our trek through rebel hell: My Years in Secessia. At night, I dream of Dorcas’s thighs clasping my waist, hot and strong.

The guards who patrol the parapets with Sharps rifles spray the yard with bullets and fence what muggers steal—blankets, coats, boots, socks, drawers. In my drawers I stash the writing paper I use for the dispatches I smuggle out with the dead wagon. My Dearest Dorcas: I write in code she translates for the newspaper.

A lucky few have tents; the rest of us burrow into the ground, like maggots in craters after a shelling; in heavy rain, our dens flood. My hipbones ache when I shuffle through sleet to the watery kettles of cowpea soup, where I pinch cornbread for soldiers too weak and lousy to emerge from their earthen cocoons. The day my temperature spikes 104, Junius drags me to the hospital, where I shiver without a blanket on thin straw. My knotted fingers trace Dorcas’s name in the cold air.

When the commandant suspects I’m the troublemaker slipping dispatches north, the guards strip me, but I’ve shared the blank pages with other prisoners, for wiping. The guards toss me back in the sleety yard, where an even more ragged skeleton has appropriated my den. I don’t think twice about punching the duffer—so what if I book his passage on the dead wagon?—and squeeze between the burrow’s cold clay thighs. But the drubbing sprains my hands, thin parchment over bones, and when Junius palms me Dorcas’s letter, it slips through my useless fingers to the ground.

Junius plots: we’ll trick the guards, march out of the stockade like orderlies bearing trays of medicine vials; an East Tennessean will guide us over the mountains to the Union lines near Knoxville. He chants the ridges and rivers like a prayer. Get up, Abernathy, he urges, the Tennessean’s bringing horses; it’s our only chance. But my brittle bones balk. Worried that to the parapet an embrace might hint goodbye, I curl in my lair watching as he strides through the gate. From outside the stockade comes the ordinary scramble of hooves but no shots, and I weep, thankful, bereft.

That night I burrow into a litany of mountains: Blue Ridge, Peachbottom, Ripshin, Unaka, Roan: fog blossoming in trees, settling in comfortable coves, and rivers glinting in the sun: Watauga, Nolichucky, Doe. Dorcas stands on the far shining bank of the Doe, laden with papers, smiling amid trees whose skeletons flame silver. When she stretches out her arms to me, the brilliant white sheets float upward, swirling about her head, filling the sky.

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Perfect Vaca, No Filter

by Vivian Chou

July 19, 2024

Sapphire Bay Resort

Four-star hotel

1,643 reviews

#3/563 hotels in Sapphire Island

BoutiqueHotel review: Two stars

 

Disappointing

They advertised as a bespoke luxury hotel to get away from the chaos of the cities, but the nighttime turn-down experience was unsettling. The towels they folded were SWANS! Can you imagine how disappointing this was to my toddler? In Fiji last summer, they folded us an octopus family and a Bugatti! Also, the sun was blocked by the pool for half the afternoon by big lurking shapes in the sky.

Response from the owner:

Thank you for your review. However, you did tell us you loved the complimentary mille-feuilles cake for your son’s birthday and you took a photo with our chef. We would be happy to accommodate your request to fold other towel-animals. We hope the sun shines on your next vacation and wish you all the best.

* * *

BoutiqueHotel review: One star

Filthy. BEDBUGS!

Our deep-soak jacuzzi tub had a ladybug in it. AN ACTUAL BEDBUG. Enough said.

Response from the owner:

Thanks for the comment. Our custodian has a PhD in elementary education focusing on entomology. She removed the ladybug and set it free outside. Rest assured, ladybugs are neither predatory nor vectors of disease, and are NOT BEDBUGS. Reminder: Earth needs more insects because the food chain is collapsing, and there’s a global famine because of the heat wave. Remember, an actual world exists outside of your vacation. Safe travels!

* * *

BoutiqueHotel review: One and a half stars

Boring 

On the website it says it would be FUN ALL THE TIME and be the best vacation we ever had. Our kids were bored and didn’t like the healthy food at the Kids’ Zone!

Response from the owner:

Noted. Our child-care service is run by a former professor of elementary education and certified nutritionist. We explicitly discouraged bringing screens into the kiddie pool, and we called you as soon as your five-year-old dropped his iPad into the water. The healthy food you speak of is our standard pesto chicken, side of buttered noodles, and devil’s food cake with homemade vanilla gelato. Our staff subsists on the leftovers of our guests, and our cholesterol is through the roof. What are you used to eating at home? Foie gras milkshakes? Namaste.

* * *

BoutiqueHotel review: Zero stars

ALIENS WERE HERE

When the aliens landed, they didn’t defend us at all.  We were running around screaming and I tried to use the pool boy as a human shield. He elbowed me in the stomach and yelled, “I’m not dying for some bougie ass!” I. Have. Never. Been so insulted! And then the aliens kept saying, “Please respond with the Fibonacci sequence to ten integers, if you are indeed intelligent life. You may use your fingers to represent numbers.” I didn’t know how to speak alien and the monster kept rolling his eyes and said to his friend, “I told you there’s no intelligent life here!”  My husband said they were talking about the whole planet but the alien kept looking at me!

Response from the owner:

We were as shocked by the alien invasion as you were. Our staff are not intended to be used as human shields, although we do cater to every other one of your frivolous preferences, such as providing filtered water for your bath, pre-cutting your Kobe beef at dinner, and refilling your margaritas by the poolside when you are no longer able to stand due to inebriation and sunstroke.

That said, this is the first time that planet Earth, much less Sapphire Bay, has been invaded by extraplanetary lifeforms. The fact that you deterred the aliens from further communication with our species due to the interaction between you and the pool boy speaks volumes as to their opinion of your intellect.

* * *

BoutiqueHotel review: One star

PHOTOS ARE A LIE

Don’t get catfished by the pictures. They post beautiful infinity pools against a glorious sunset. They did not tell us the alien invasion was here! The pools were drained of any water and alien adolescents were playing catch with the bosu balls at the gym! I couldn’t get a hot tub soak OR a workout and I’m trying to lose ten pounds before my wedding!

Response from the owner:

This is the First Contact in human history, and all major news outlets have been broadcasting its arrival. We are not responsible for your lack of awareness of current events. Due to the hundred-and-thirty-degree heat, all the pool water has evaporated, but so has the Mediterranean Sea, so is it any surprise that your picturesque photos have been ruined? Who’s looking at your socials these days anyway when the whole world is ending? Are you seriously trying to make someone jealous with your vaca pics at a time like this?

* * *

BoutiqueHotel review: Five stars

Decadent, isolated paradise!

*translated from the Erkzion language*

Wonderful spa hotel, top-notch staff. At first, we had to get rid of the lower-echelon homo sapiens. Apparently, there is a phenomenon where the social hierarchy is upside-down on Earth. Once we flambéd the hotel guests, we were able to communicate with the staff. They are very knowledgeable about the history of the area, flora and fauna, the art of towel-origami and even the local insects! My daughter UeiBnkq was fascinated when the housekeeper showed us a rare praying mantis in the shower.

Response from the owner:

Thank you for your lovely review. We at Sapphire Bayside Resort pride ourselves on customer service and are pleased at the recent turn of worldly events that allow us to be treated, for once, like human beings. This is a new experience for us, and we are grateful for your compassion and the donation of your millions of gallons of potable water from Planet Erkzion. We welcome all extraplanetary guests and if you book now for the holiday weekend, you’ll get the third night free!

Please let us know what shapes you prefer your towels to be folded into.

Comments

  1. Mark Ifanson says:
    Great job, very clever!
  2. Uj says:
    Okay, I love this! It’s funny and so important.
  3. Julie Moran says:
    I really enjoyed reading this. It evoked my curiosity, I wanted to know how and where it ended up. It made me chuckle at the visuals so capably described and importantly it also invited me to stop and pause and think about the state of the world. Thanks.

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Sturgeon Moon Jam

by Jennifer Hudak

July 26, 2024

Once a year, during the Sturgeon Moon, a house appears off Seven Mile Line Road in the heart of Chickasee County. Native grasses surround it, thick and tall, protecting the house and its sprawling kitchen garden from view. The being who lives inside the house calls herself Helga Tillinger when she manifests here. The body she chooses is that of an unremarkable woman with salt-and-pepper hair. She wears loose, drab clothing and sensible shoes. This form renders her as close to invisible as any other she’s tried.

The Sturgeon Moon coincides each year with the Chickasee County Fair, and, cloaked as Helga Tillinger, the being wanders through the animal pens, observing outrageously-feathered chickens and floofy bunnies and long-haired goats. She samples kettle corn and pulled taffy and fried pickles. She gazes at the prizewinning cross-stitches and quilts and embroidered doilies. She walks slowly but steadily through the fair, blending in with the crowd as this unremarkable female body is uniquely able to do.

Then, she reaches the preserves.

Oh! The preserves! Lined up in clear jars, they shine in every color imaginable, from pale grapefruit marmalade suspended with chewy slivers of peel, to smooth Concord grape jelly that’s a blue so deep it approaches black. Some of the flavors are outrageous with flowers and spices and bits of herb. Some of them let a single fruit shine in all its sweetness and depth.

The being who calls herself Helga Tillinger wishes she could plunge a digit in each jar and lick it clean. She wishes she could chat with the judges who purse their lips and prod their tongues against their cheeks with each taste. She wishes for sweetness and color.

When the fair closes, Helga returns to the farmhouse and spends the rest of the night cooking jam. In the kitchen garden, she grows blueberries and strawberries and raspberries and blackberries. She grows rosehips and lavender and rosemary, and chiles for a touch of spice. In the house’s ancient kitchen, she experiments with flavors and textures. She leaves some preserves chunky, while others she strains smooth. While the preserves cook and gel, she sterilizes jars in boiling water and, once the jars are full, she plunges them back in the water to seal. It’s hot, steamy work, at the end of which she has a row of jars full of preserves that no one but she will ever eat. It would be much easier for her to bring the fruit back home with her once the Sturgeon Moon sets. But easy is not the point.

Last year, after many moons of growing and picking and cooking and boiling, Helga achieved the perfect jar of strawberry-lavender jam. With trembling digits, she covered the metal cap with a square of pink-and-white-checked gingham, and affixed a label to the neck with string. As her house faded from existence in Chickasee County, she placed the jar in the cabinet and closed the door.

Now, when the Sturgeon Moon rises and the being manifests within her house once again, she opens the cabinet. She half expects the jar to have vanished, just as the house does each year. But it hasn’t. It sits on the shelf right where she put it, whole and perfect and just as beautiful as she remembered. The being who calls herself Helga Tillinger knows she mustn’t draw attention to herself while she’s here. But she can’t help but feel that this is a sign. And the fair beckons.

* * *

The entry form is confounding, even to a being as advanced as Helga, and in the end she simply slips the jar on the table with the other preserves when no one is looking. Then, she blends her unremarkable body into the crowd and waits for the judging.

The humans assigned to taste and rate the preserves move from jar to jar. They use identical plastic spoons, and they sample the jam both straight from the jar and atop plain dry crackers. Oh, how Helga wishes to stain her own teeth purple with the cardamom plum preserves! Oh, how she yearns for the jalapeño jelly to bring tears to her eyes!

And then, the judges come to Helga’s jar of strawberry-lavender jam. They examine the label and shuffle through their papers.

“Excuse me,” calls one of the judges, a man with thinning blonde hair and wire-rimmed glasses. “But who is Helga Tillinger?”

Helga is not used to speaking in this form. But she lifts up one digit and croaks, “I am.” She coughs. “In a manner of speaking.”

“We can’t find your entry form. Did you fill one out?”

“No. I…didn’t have time.”

“Well, I’m terribly sorry, but we can’t accept anything without an entry form and fee.” The judge barely glances at her. Before he finishes speaking, he’s already moved his attention elsewhere.

Helga takes back her preserves and backs away from the table. This body’s throat feels strange from speaking, and its face flushes hot. She ought never to have done this. She ought to have left well enough alone.

A hand taps her shoulder, and Helga turns to see a young woman with a long brown braid smiling at her.

“Hey, I hope you’ll come back next year and try again. Your jam looks beautiful.”

“Do you want to try it?” Helga blurts out, then flinches. “What I mean is…I’d love to share it.”

While the woman grabs a spoon from the food tent, Helga pops the top of the jar with an opener she keeps in her pocket. The woman dips the spoon into the jar, scoops out a perfect, glistening mound of jam, and tastes it.

For a moment, she’s silent. Then, her eyes sparkle. “Oh, wow,” she says. “Oh, wow. You definitely have to enter this next year.”

Beneath her drab clothes, Helga feels herself glow. The woman with the braid smiles broadly, and the being who calls herself Helga Tillinger feels, for the first time in this form, seen. She feels, in fact, remarkable.

* * *

 

Originally published in Fantasy Magazine, December 2022. Reprinted here by permission of the author.

Comments

  1. Atlas Christianson says:
    What a beautiful piece! Reading this made me feel very soft inside.

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